When I left my office job and started teaching design at a few local colleges, I was a tad green. I’d taught before, but never full-time. Juggling 5 and 6 classes (not the recommended course load, I found, but I was nervous about money) was proving to be nearly impossible. Just as I got one lesson hammered out for one, a different class would be looming ahead. I was staying up late and rushing around… I was a hot mess. I was preparing 2 hours or more for every hour of class and frankly, it wasn’t working. I’d come in with these huge piles of notes–basically my entire lecture, written out word for word. I would nervously read it aloud, making lame asides and generally boring the hell out of everyone in the room, including myself. I also found that I would have so much material to cover there would be no time for anything beyond me droning on and on. That ‘s right: I was giving 3- and 4-hour long lectures. Ridiculous.

Occasionally (and despite my best efforts), I would manage to hit my stride. Those fleeting moments were incredible: I was suddenly having a conversation with the class, really engaging in the material and getting it across. Fleeting is the operative word, however: the minute I realized things were going well, I’d sink like a stone into my usual whirlwind of self-doubt. Luckily, the students were usually willing to wade through my awkward delivery. What choice did they have, anyway?

Slowly but surely, I have gotten better at maintaining the flow of a successful lesson. I had to learn how to articulate things that I have known for years, and I needed to find the framework in which I could best teach. Right now I am still using the lecture-then-lab class structure. I know there are different ways to run a class, it is just where I am right now. I can already feel the format shifting, so I will be sure to check in once I have moved to a new one.

What I have learned about preparing for class:

• Prep about 2 hours per class: enough to feel confident in the overall message, but not so much that you have everything memorized or written out. My problem was a lack of confidence: I was trying to pack every possible facet on the subject , not just what the student needed to know to get started.
• Don’t prep all at once, do it in manageable installments the week before. This means being a little more organized than I was used to being, but I have slowly learned how to do this.
• Be thorough in your documentation: I always write out a full lesson plan for every class, and I use it to keep myself on track. Now that I am teaching some of my classes a second time, I have this great record of what I need to do.
• Writing out my lectures was a futile exercise. I do better when I wing it a little, just head out there and hoof it in front of the class. I ask the students more questions, get them involved. Also, my lectures no longer take up the entire class period…

I have also learned a few other lessons:

• Having a sense of humor has been invaluable. Luckily, I was always willing to laugh at myself at my stodgiest moments: I think that is why the students hung in there with me.
• I have found it is best to be honest about what I know and do not know. I am just starting my teaching career, so who am I kidding anyway? My students have seemed to appreciate my honesty and to respect the things I am able to tell them with confidence.

Basically, I have to trust that I know the material in order to teach it well. If I am spending hours and hours buttressing my knowledge of the subject matter, it is more about my own insecurity and that is for my therapist, not my classroom.